Having Powerful Conversations

Conversations are still the best way to build and maintain relationships—they are the glue that holds together today’s virtual world. In previous issues, we have addressed the importance of having regular communication with people inside your organization (employees, management teams and advisors) as well as outside of your organization (clients and vendors).

Despite all the technological alternatives we have today, the best communication still comes from face-to-face conversations, where you can see facial expressions, observe body language, and feed off the other person’s energy. If in-person meetings are simply not possible because of time or location, the next best alternative is a phone conversation, where you can still here the inflection in someone’s voice. But to make either successful, you need to understand the reason for your conversation. That’s why it is helpful to develop a plan and an outline ahead of time. Here are some thoughts on how to prepare:

• Clearly understand what you want to get out of the conversation—create some bullet points of the major ideas that you want to learn or get across about an industry, a certain company, or a challenging situation.

• Remember that the best way to learn is to ask questions—make notes about specific areas of inquiry. If you only have a short amount of time with your counterpart, start with closed-ended questions, calling for a yes or no answer. If you have longer, move onto the “How’s” and “Why’s.” And as the situation permits, always feel free to drill down using follow up questions.

• Never forget that the most important part of a conversation is listening. Don’t interrupt your conversation partner. Let them finish their thoughts. After all, you are having this conversation because you want their knowledge, not to expound on what you know. If there are appropriate points during the chat, you can inject some of your knowledge (it is good to give as well as receive), but take care that it is of value to the other person.

Good conversations require an investment on your part. Think about what you want to accomplish. Turn the rare opportunity to connect directly with a person into a valuable and powerful experience.

- Michael Oleksak   2006